Big Dogs and Little Women

This post may be a little controversial but remember it is just a metaphor - though a very apt one in my opinion.  The relationship between women and their dogs in many ways parallels the relationship between women and men.  If you are dating a dog owner, watch the way she handles her dog - it will offer many cues to what she wants in a man.  This is especially true of women with big dogs - not completely so with little lap dogs (though that may be a good topic for another post).

When a woman walks down the street with her dog she feels both protected and "involved" - it is a symbiotic relationship, i.e. both parties benefit.  If the dog is well-trained it always stays close enough for her to feel secure and it won't let anyone approach that she doesn't know or doesn't trust.  The dog is constantly alert to every stranger and imminent danger.  Most men have the capacity and potential to provide the same comfort and protection to a woman - the question is do you have the right temperament? 

The dog has been trained.  He's learned to respond to subtle cues in his owner's body language and tone of voice.  He knows when she feels uncomfortable often before she does.  If you've never owned and loved a good dog it may be hard to understand this subtlety but it is very real - a dog is naturally 100% present in any situation. 

This is where the metaphor comes into play: In many cases a woman will treat her partner the same way she treats a dog - I know that sounds harsh but it is actually a good thing.  She treats the dog with the same level of respect and devotion that it shows her.  In many cases this can be absolute - complete total dedication.  The reason this makes some men uncomfortable is they either don't want to give their complete devotion or are incapable of doing so.  In either case there is a problem.

One only needs to visit the nearest "dog park" to see the dynamic in action  First thing you will notice at any dog park is that 75% of the owners there are women. Is that because women own more dogs than men?  Absolutely not.  Is it because female dog owners are more dedicated to their dogs and want to make sure they are happy - BINGO!   Men often write this off to misplaced "maternal instincts." I don't think so.  Only certain owners of very small infantile type dogs fall into this category - and you'd be surprised at how many very tiny dogs exhibit much stronger aggressive and protective tendencies than you'd ever imagine (take it from a former Chihuahua owner - they are very assertive and protective little dogs).

A dog is like a starter relationship for a woman.  It shows her what is possible between two creatures.  Unfortunately, many men don't come close to providing the comfort, security, protection and lively companionship of a simple four-legged canine.   I have a theory about why this is true.  It's called "The Leash."

Contrary to popular belief, men actually embrace the Male as Dog Metaphor.  There are dozens of songs in popular culture that reinforce this from Elvis' "Hound Dog" to Iggy Pop's "I Wanna Be Your Dog" and the blues world has "Howlin' Wolf," "Hound Dog Taylor."  But the modern male only wants to own part of the mythology - the sexual predator part.  You and I will say "God, I am such a dog..." referenceing our indiscriminate sexual appetites - but we will quickly insult or demean one another by saying: "That woman's got you on a short leash" or "Run home, litle Doggie, the master is calling."   It's the conflict between being "wild" and "domesticated."

But guess what guys?  There is no such thing as a "Lone Wolf" - it is a myth.  Wolves, dogs, canines, Dingos, Hyenas, are all pack animals and if a dog is alone it is desperate, angry, dangeous and depressed.  Dogs are only happy when they are part of a pack and when they can do their part to protect and defend their family.  So don't attach any credence to something that is completely false.  Their is no such thing as a happy dog with no master, no family, no home and no responsibilities.

Of course the other modern icon is of the "Alpha Dog" and this is a bit more complex.  We all aspire to being the Alpha Dog in our working and social lives - few of us are content taking a supporting role (though by simple definition most of us do and it is nothing to be ashamed of).  But our confused egos easily distort the truth and believe we are subservient to a stronger animal in a male-female relationship.  This could not be further from the truth due to one simple fact:  A woman is not a dog!  Did you get that?  Let me repeat - A woman is not a dog!

Just because a female dog owner will assume the role of "alpha dog" when training a puppy, it does not mean that she and the dog share the same nature.  The same goes for male-female relationships.  Just because she needs to feel like you are keeping her safe and protected does not mean that she is in control of you.  "The leash" is there for her security - not yours.   If she knows you will not run away, guess what? The leash comes off.   Any woman who is constantly tugging and yanking on your leash (i.e. calling your cell all the time to see where you are or what you are doing) is insecure in her relationship.  You can't expect her to act any differently unless you give her a reason to do so. Like I said, watch women with their dogs - you'll see the ones that are happy, that feel secure, that did a good job of training - both "master" and "dog" are having a good ole' time.

Which brings me to the part of this metaphor that really raises the fur on most guys backs: "Well-trained?!  What the F&%#$ do you think I am?! Nobody trains me!" 

It's not about her training you my friend.  It's about you training yourself to be a real man.   If you haven't done the work, have no discipline, no self-conrol, go chasing every bitch you see... you don't give respect where it is due... guess what?  You'll never be part of the pack.  Because you fell for the oldest dumb ass trick in the book:  There is no Lone Wolf who is happy.  Just a mad dog in the midday sun.

- JC