What Women Really Want - It Ain't That Much

If you look at a random sampling of women's postings on any dating site you'll see certain things repeated over and over - for good reason.  It's like they are all looking for the same guy:  ".... tall, attractive (nice smile and eyes), confident (without being cocky), good sense of humor, emotionally available and honest."

This is what I like to call "The List" and it never ceases to amaze me how, other than the tall part, all these attributes are readily available to the average guy.  There is nothing unrealistic here like "six-pack abs" or even "six figure income" and as far as "attractive" the qualities that women find attractive in men are not really the same things most men consider to be attractive about women.  When was the last time you made a comment to another guy like: "She has an amazing smile" or "Did you see her eyes?  They're like pools of liquid blue."  This is exactly the sort of thing women notice and find attractive about men: our eyes, our smile, the tone of our voice, the way we hold our bodies; it's what they consider a part of the chemistry.  And while you probably won't hear women complain if their beau has a great body or nice strong arms (they do like to be held by someone more powerful who makes them feel protected and cherished) they will rarely ever complain about a guy being a bit out of perfect shape unless - and this is the key point - unless it affects the man's self-confidence.  If being overweight makes you feel insecure, anxious, overly-sensitive or just plain grumpy then guess what?  Women won't be attracted to you.  On the other hand I am sure that Jack Black and Phillip Seymour Hoffman have no problem getting and keeping chicks - and it's not just because they are famous.  It's because they are confident, funny and self-assured.  One of my favorite blues singers is a 280 lb big ole' love-machine named Sugar Ray and let me tell you his incredible confidence, talent and humor will turn a woman's head from a block away.

So the next time you see one of those "lists" and want to murmur about how women have ridiculous expectations - just think about what they are really asking for.  Is it really that much?   Just ignore the tall part and you're probably 3/4 of the way there.  And as long as you project a strong physical presence they won't notice you're about the same height as they are anyway.