Good Girls Do

When I talk about women in this blog I am taking for granted you understand that I am talking about "good women."  This is not to emphasize that there are good women and bad women (though there are) but only to  point out that there are good people and bad people for us in general.  That said, I believe most people are good people and I certianly believe most women are good women.

When I talk about "good women" what I mean is women who are functioning and behaving naturally and not reacting to some internal disfunction or external pressure.  We all make mistakes in life and in relationships, sometimes because we haven't learned the right way and at other times because we are too frightened or insecure to do what we know is right.   I try not to judge too quickly or too harshly but I am attempting to provide a roadmap for men (especially younger men) around some of the more common obstacles along the path. 

As a general rule:  If we think of ourselves as damaged, then we will seek out those who are also damaged.  If we think of ourselves as whole, we will be attracted to (and attractive to) those who are whole. Finally, if we see ourselves as a work in progress, healing our hurts and seeking to forgive and grow, then it is important to seek out and surround ourselves with the same loving and healing personalities we aspire to be.

Damaged women can be exciting - there is no denying it.  I've had my share of wild, reckless and downright dangerous female companions.  L.A., New York and Las Vegas are chock full of enticing women trapped in destructive patterns of behavior; it can be hard to resist.  But ultimately if we want to have real relationships with depth and stability we need to look beyond cheap thrills and seek a true partner.  There is nothing boring about a healthy relationship between adults - quite the opposite really.  What becomes boring is the repetition of negativity when dealing with someone who is stuck in a childish or self-deluding state of mind.

So remember: Good Girls Do.  They just don't advertise it as loudly.